"Cute Little Wife"

I will start this post with a fair warning: this post is religious and could potentially be very controversial and lengthy. Read at your own discretion.

This morning I was checking my email and noticed an email from someone in my ward, reminding about an activity and suggesting that the ladies in the ward check out a blog for LDS women. The only reason I actually looked at the blog was because the girl said she voted we have a service activity on the most recent post, and since I am the committee chair for relief society activities I decided I should investigate. After reading the post I went to the blog for, I scrolled down to the next post out of curiosity. The post author talked about how her husband wanted her to take their 2 month old to one of his classes to show him off, and so she did. While in the husband's class someone commented how it was nice to meet his "cute little wife." The author then went into detail about how the she didn't like the connotation from that phrase, considering she has been to over a dozen countries, graduated from college, had written for Newsweek, and was in the process of getting a law degree (1st year completed). The author felt that there was so much more to her than being a wife and a mother, and in a way felt degraded that she was viewed that way.

After reading the article I sat stunned for a moment. Yes, I whole-heartedly agree that you should keep interests and work on other talents and skills besides being a wife and a mother. However, isn't the whole plan to become wives and mothers, to nurture and care for our families in a way that no other can??!!?? At this point I began to fume, and unfortunately Dax came into the kitchen for breakfast just then. :) Luckily he helped calm me down quickly, because really I am sure that the author of this post had no intention of belittling women, on the contrary I think she was trying to empower them. Dax tells me he thinks I feel interior to women like that (although he says I shouldn't). I wouldn't say I am inferior, I am completely comfortable with who I am and how I have chosen to spend my time (as a wife and mother). I am confident enough in myself that I know I could have chosen any major or profession and graduated or performed reasonably well. I guess it is just frustrating for me to see people who feel that until every INDIVIDUAL passion and desire is completed that they aren't "fulfilled" as a person. Even if that means putting off marriage and children in order to fulfill those desires. I could be wrong on this, but that seems like exactly what Satan wants us to do. Not feel that being a homemaker and nurturer to children is enough, so we have to go out and pursue "our own" interests. Again, don't think I am against pursuing talents and cultivating skills and abilities. Dax phrased it well for me: "Whenever Satan can get us to sacrifice something great for something good, he feels like he has won a small victory." It reminded me of Elder Oaks' talk about good, better, and best. I think in the gospel plan the best thing is to be a wife and a mother. That isn't to say that other things like a career, etc aren't good things. I just think that Satan is getting good at making the women of this world feel like we can't be fulfilled until we have that master's, have secured that job, or whatever it may be. In reality I think the most fulfilling and rewarding role we can have is as a wife and mother. "Just a wife," "just a mother," "I just stay home and raise kids," are "just" the most important things we can be doing! "No success can compensate for failure in the home" -David O. McKay

I in no way intend to pass judgment on the people who choose not to stay home and raise their families, or those who put off having their families. The Lord's timetable is different for everyone and each family alone with the Lord can make those important decisions. Each family is unique and there definitely needs to be "individual adaptation" as the Proclamation to the World tells us. I just know that I truly get more satisfaction from watching Hayden learn to say please and thank you and recognize a picture of Jesus than I did from graduating college with a 4.0. And, after staying home with Hayden and watching him learn and grow I realize that these are moments that happen once in the eternity of each child, and I would hate to miss them.