Uncharted Territory

I feel like I'm in water that is too rough for my swimming capabilities these days.  My head bobs up occasionally for a quick breath before I am pulled back under and feel like I am losing it.  I have never raised a 4 year old.  My 2 year old is so completely different than the 2 year old that I had 2 years ago.  I have a house now, that comes with a lot of responsibilities.  Most of which I love, but I never feel like I am on top of the laundry, let alone on top of the whole pile of things I am responsible for. 

It's a hard stage.  I love my family, and I have never felt closer to Dax than I am now.  I love that.  I love that marriage just gets sweeter and sweeter with time.  I love being a mom, and I adore my children.  I WANT to stay home with them and be doing the things I am doing.  That doesn't mean it isn't hard.  My challenge right now is to "do (my) best and forget the rest."  Thanks Tony Horton (P90X anyone?).  With my personality, it's hard to let things go.  Well, whether I let them or not, they go.  It's hard to ACCEPT that they go.  Most days at the end of the day I wonder how I didn't do anything on my to do list.  My Mom told me to write down the things I did do at the end of the day, so I can realize all that I get done. Now is as good a time as any to get started:

We went to the movie theater today for the free summer movie of the week:  Escape Planet Earth.  The kids loved it, and it was nice to get out and do something fun together.  Today I took the time to wrestle and relax with my kids for a good hour straight. It is good medicine for all of us.  We ate cookie dough out of the fridge.  Dax went sturgeon fishing with the young men for mutual, and our Wednesday night ritual while he is gone is ice cream cones.  I got dinner cleaned up--minus the floor (yikes).  We had scriptures and prayers.  I still need to work out...sometime.

I am grateful that I believe in a God who knows me and my family.  Who can help me and give me peace and bless me and sustain me.  Life would be so depressing without that faith. 

As hard as things can seem, I am so grateful for my life and the immense blessings my family has been given.  My family is healthy, and happy (for the most part...we are in the terrible twos mind you).  My kids bring me so much happiness each day. 

Hayden the adventurer is just curious about everything in life.  He is into pushing the limits to see just what the limits really are.  He remembers everything.  He is the. biggest. tease. ever.  He is very thoughtful of other people and shares better than any child I know.  He is losing his baby chubbiness and while I am glad he won't be chunky for life it is sad to see it go.  The beginning of the end of being a little boy.  He is good at remembering that no matter how big he gets he will always be my first born baby.

I hear Kyra's shrill screams constantly during the day.  Mainly as a result of Hayden's teasing.  She is also just extra sensitive.  With a big extra. :)  It will be such a blessing to her and those she loves someday.  I can hardly get her to eat dinner these days.  She is on a meat strike.  Dax jokingly asked her when she will eat meat again.  Her reply:  "On my birthday."  Oh goodness.  She tells me nearly once a day that her legs hurt...it has been over a month now.  I finally measured her.  She has grown nearly 5 inches since September, which is a wonder considering her eating habits.  No wonder her legs hurt though.  She is as dark skinned as ever.  I love her hugs.

Taylee girl just makes me smile.  Every time I look at her chubby cheeks I can't help but feel happy.  Today she has finally mastered crawling, which worries me considering we have a Lego lover and a rip-into-as-many-pieces-as-possible-on-the-carpet-and-leave lover in our house.  She is 10 1/2 months though, so it is time for progression.   I just want her to stay little.  I am no where near ready for more babies (although I do want more), so I just want her to stay little for as long as possible.  She is my sweet strawberry shortcake (Dax's nickname for her).

Life is good.