I have been thinking a good deal over the last few days about this new addition who will join our family in 2 months. Mainly I have been wondering how I can handle having 3 children so young and needy. I read through a few old blog posts from right after Kyra was born, and I felt so overwhelmed by having two small children. I just had to smile and think about how easy that all seems now. When I think about life in general it seems like that. Let me explain...
When I was about to enter middle school I was so nervous about being able to handle harder teachers and harder classes. It was a new experience. After I adjusted to middle school and felt like I was on top of things, it was time to transition to high school. I felt the same feelings of inadequacy as when I entered middle school. As high school progressed I felt confident in my abilities to handle the demands and eventually felt like I "ruled the school" so to speak. Then it was time for college and single life. The cycle started over again. After my first year I felt capable of handling my new life. Then I got married. The cycle repeated with feeling inadequate in my new responsibilities as a wife on top of being a student. I adjusted. Then we had Hayden. Repeat cycle. At each stage I would look back on the one before and think, "Why did I think that was so hard? I can totally handle that." My capabilities had increased, and the hard situations of the past became amusements to my reminiscing mind.
The cycle is now repeating itself. I am at the brink where I feel like I am just getting a handle on my current life, and now it is time to dive off into a new life.
The amazing thing is no matter what the situation or how unprepared I feel, I make it through. A scripture comes to mind. 1 Cor. 10:13. I know the scripture actually talks about not being "tempted above that ye are able," but I feel it applies to life in general. At least mine anyway. I always feel like I can't handle the next stage that Heavenly Father presents to me, and then when I am thrown (or throw myself, as the case may be) into my new situation He always helps me develop the capabilities I need in my current state of life. I am not saying that I get all the things done that I want to and that I reach the same equilibrium at each stage. However, I am given the ability to do what I need to do. I am made stronger. Because of the constant flux of life I usually don't feel very strong, because just when I feel confident with where I am at a new stage comes along. As a result I usually feel pretty weak. Regardless, I AM "stronger than yesterday." I know as I continue to trust in the Lord that I will be stronger in the future than I am today.
Bring on baby #3. But not for 2 months...
Summertime
1 year ago
3 comments:
That is just what I needed to hear, Jen! Thanks for sharing!
You will do awesome with three. For me, everytime a new baby comes something else has had to go. Such as wishing that my house was always spotless has had to go out the window because there just isn't enough time in a day to do everything you wish you could do. Soon this stage of life will pass and we will be able to get back to all those things we haven't had "time" for. But you are probably more organized than me and will probably be able to stay on top of everything. Me, not so much, atleast not with a newborn/infant.
thanks Jen! I can totally relate to this, I found myself nodding and agreeing with everything you said. I guess that's the whole purpose of life, right? Grow line upon line and develop into celestial beings ultimately. We get there one trial or phase at a time. Thanks for the reminder :). I know you will do awesome with three kids! I am excited for you.
Post a Comment